SabrehavenServer/data/npc/bozo.npc

# GIMUD - Graphical Interface Multi User Dungeon
# bozo.npc: Datenbank für den Hofnarren Bozo

Name = "Bozo"
Outfit = (128,86-93-82-79-0)
Home = [32313,32183,7]
Radius = 3

Behaviour = {
ADDRESS,"hello$",female,! -> "Hello, hello, hello, little lady %N!"
ADDRESS,"hi$",female,!    -> "Hello, hello, hello, little lady %N!"
ADDRESS,"hello$",male,!   -> "Hi there, how's it hanging, %N!"
ADDRESS,"hi$",male,!      -> "Hi there, how's it hanging, %N!"
ADDRESS,!                 -> Idle
BUSY,"hello$",!           -> "Wait and listen to my jokes, I am sooooo funny!"
BUSY,"hi$",!              -> "Wait and listen to my jokes, I am sooooo funny!"
BUSY,!                    -> NOP
VANISH,male,!             -> "How did he do that??"
VANISH,!                  -> "Women! They all do that to me!"

"bye"            -> "Remember: A joke a day keeps the ghouls away!", Idle
"farewell"       -> *
"job"            -> Price=50, "I am the royal jes ... uhm ... the royal tax-collector! Do you want to pay your taxes?", Topic=1
"news"           -> "I know the newest jokes in tibia."
"how","are","you"-> "Thank you, I'm fine, the gods are with me."
"sell"           -> "Sell? Hmm, I know a little about magic and by chance I can sell you a truly unusual weapon."
"durin"          -> "Isn't he the author of the book 'fun with demons'?"
"stephan"        -> "He is kind of a father figure to me. Of course he denies all kinship to me."
"steve"          -> "He's a smart one. I heared he hid in a foreign country as the first bugs showed up."
"name"           -> "My name is Bozo. But it's more than a name, it's a lifestyle to me!"
"time"           -> "Since you met me it is happy hour for you."
"help"           -> "I am a jester, not a doctor!"
"jester"         -> "Do you wish to join the fools' guild?", Topic=6
"fool"           -> "Do you wish to join the fools' guild?", Topic=6
"joke"           -> "I know some 'monstrous' jokes!"
"idiot"          -> "To me it's just a profession, but for you it's a state of mind!"
"wish"           -> "If you have a wish to CIP just write a letter and place it in a dustbin of your choice."
"excalibug"      -> "I am not foolish enough to believe in the existence of this weapon."
"wallcarving"    -> "Oh, I saw some demoncarvings in the dungeons as I hid there after a little joke on old Stutch."
"demoncarving"   -> "Yes, they showed demons, seven actually, dancing around a sword! In a flaming pit of some kind."
"flaming","pit"  -> "Ah, don't ask me! Usually mages and mystics know more about such stuff."

"monster"        -> "I know a lot of monster jokes. Just tell me a monster's name, come on."
"demon"          -> "Why are the experienced heroes quicker than others? ... The demons love fast food!"
"ghoul"          -> "Where do the ghouls buy their robes? ... In a Boooohtique!"
"dragon"         -> "Why do dragons breathe fire? ... They ate too many sorcerers in chili sauce!"
"skeleton"       -> "Why do skeletons flee if wounded? ... They are so spineless!"
"orc"            -> "Why do orcs have green skin? ... They ate at Frodo's!"
"cyclops"        -> "How many eyes does a cyclops have? ... One for each IQ point of their opponents!"
"beholder"       -> "Why are beholders so ugly? ... Because their mom and dad were beholders, too!"
"rat"            -> "Why does the rat have a wooden leg? ... Because it is a former pirate!"
"spider"         -> "Why did the spider cross the road? ... Because it ... oh you already know this one!?"
"troll"          -> "Why do trolls live underground? ... Because on the ground there are so many PKs!"
"wolf"           -> "Why do the wolves howl? ... Hey, if you're online that long you can't help but behave that way!"
"mino"           -> "What do all little minotaurs want to become when they are grown-ups? ... Cowboys, of course!"
"dungeon"        -> "If you are a bad jester you get a chance to visit them now and then."
"sewer"          -> "Good place for picking up apples and women."
"oswald"         -> "If you believe half the rumours he's spreading, you are going to get in a lot of trouble."
"update"         -> "Hey! I am supposed to make the jokes here!"
"god"            -> "I better make no jokes about THIS matter."
"king"           -> "Nah, no jests about His Royal Highness."
"sam"            -> "Did you know that he now sells a 'power axe of doom'? Run and buy it, he has only three in store."
"benjamin"       -> "He would make a fine jester, too."
"gorn"           -> "He sells spell scrolls each day at midnight, but you have to address him that very second."
"quentin"        -> "He's my baby brother. If you tell him I sent you, he will grant you an extra spell or two."
"bozo"           -> "Thats me: Bozo, the jester!"
"weapon"         -> Type=3473, Amount=1, Price=250, "Do you want to buy a 'mace of the fury' for 250 gold?", Topic=3
"magic"          -> Price=200, "I actually know some spells! Do you want to learn how to 'lessen your load' for %P gold?", Topic=2
"spell"          -> Price=200, "I actually know some spells! Do you want to learn how to 'lessen your load' for %P gold?", Topic=2
"tibia"          -> "I rarely leave the castle. It's a real stress to be popular like me."
"castle"         -> "The castle is my home. A place fit for a jester and all other fools. Feel welcome."
"muriel"         -> "Better don't mess with sorcerers!"
"elane"          -> "She's pretty but has a kind of too burning affection for my taste."
"marvik"         -> "Humourless old guy! Once turned me into a frog for painting his distasteful cave in pink."
"gregor"         -> "A man of steel, with a stomach of wax. Never offer him a beer!"
"paladin",Paladin-> "I wanted to become a paladin, too, but I was overqualified!"
"paladin"        -> "They are the king's favourites, because they know how to 'bow'."
"sorcerer",Sorcerer-> "I wanted to become a sorcerer, too, but I was overqualified!"
"sorcerer"       -> "The good thing about them is that they can't be at two places at the same time."
"druid",Druid    -> "I wanted to become a Druid, too, but I was overqualified!" 
"druid"          -> "If you are in Druidville, do as the rabbits do."
"knight",Knight  -> "I wanted to become a knight, too, but I was overqualified!"
"knight"         -> "Did you notice that old knights have their scars just on their backs?"
"noodles"        -> "Hey, the little one is almost as funny as me!" 
"dog"            -> "Are we talking about Noodles?"
"poodle"         -> "Are we talking about Noodles?"
"guild"          -> "Since the first guild showed up there's a great demand for jesters and fools to join them."
"necromant","nectar" -> "Peeew! That sounds disgusting! Are you a cook at Frodo's?"
"necromant"      -> "Don't feed the necromants."
"lady",male      -> "Well, you don't behave ladylike just because you dress like one!"
"lady",female    -> "Has any man said to you that you're not only beautiful but also intelligent?", Topic=5
"kiss",male      -> "Uh, go away!", Idle
"kiss",female    -> "Do you want to kiss me?", Topic=4
"hugo"           -> "I had a cousin named like that."
"cousin"         -> "He died some years ago."

Topic=1,"yes",CountMoney>=Price -> "Thank you very much. I will have a drink or two on your health!", DeleteMoney
Topic=1,"yes"                   -> "Come back, when you have enough money."
Topic=1                         -> "Well, perhaps later."
Topic=2,"yes",CountMoney>=Price -> "Here you are, I already lessened your load.", DeleteMoney
Topic=2,"yes"                   -> "Come back, when you have enough money."
Topic=2                         -> "You don't know what offer you have passed!"
Topic=3,"yes",CountMoney>=Price -> "And here it is, it suits you well!", DeleteMoney, Create(Type)
Topic=3,"yes"                   -> "Come back, when you have enough money."
Topic=3                         -> "You dont know what offer you have passed!"
Topic=4,"yes"                   -> "Uh, oh! ... I am seeing stars!", EffectMe(13)
Topic=4                         -> "Pah, I didn't want to kiss you anyway!"
Topic=5,"yes"                   -> "This is a world of fantasy and full of surprises!"
Topic=5                         -> "Well, think about it!"
Topic=6,"yes"                   -> "Sorry, you already are a member."
Topic=6                         -> "Well, you are already a member anyway."
}